Fingers
Ever since the first comment in high school that my fingers looked funny, I have despised them. I would keep my hand curled up so as not to display the "mushroom" or "alien" shape my fingers took on. I think Justin is the first person that I actually would freely show my fingers to (besides my mom and sister).
How ridiculous is this? I was ashamed of something I couldn’t help! I wanted the pretty fingernails that all the other girls had. But God gave me these fingers. The whole finger thing is just one more thing that I had struggled to like about myself. It has been a few years since I have been content with the shape of my fingers.
The other day I was inspecting every inch of my precious little Maisie and came across her fingers. Can you guess what I am going to say? Yep, the same ones. The same little mushroom/alien shape that mine are. And I love them. I LOVE her fingers. I love everything about her. It is weird that now that these fingers are on her, I wouldn’t change mine for anything. It makes me wonder how I could have ever been ashamed of them. Looking at Maisie’s fingers makes me think how my mom probably looked at mine. She loved them. Or maybe she thought they were sort of crazy looking, but I am sure she still loved them, just like I love Maisie’s.
I am really re-evaluating my shallow concern for things that are out of my control. I am happy to be the exact way God made me (at least for now). I don’t need super model legs to be happy with who I am (although I wouldn’t have minded)!
Now, don’t get all crazy when you all see me next and try to peek at my fingers! And don’t you DARE tell Maisie her fingers look weird! I hope she grows up never thinking twice about her fingers or anything else that the world tells her should be different.
Your daughter is so very perfect. Funny how hard we can be on ourselves huh? I just looked at her pictures again and missed her. She’s just so precious. Glad I got to “know” her. Everyone is asking about her when they ask about my trip. I tell them she was my favorite part.
Oh jam, that made me cry. Just one of those days I guess.
The delight of a child is that you are able to discover similarities…little pieces of yourself hidden in the sweetness of who they are. I’m so thankful you have a daughter who is opening your eyes to the beauty God has given you. I love you. Mom
I have time to visit my friend’s blogs! Today…put it down in history…the internet finally arrived at my house! Now, about your fingers. I guess I never knew they were bothersome to you. I just wanted you to know that your fingers have served me in many ways, and for this I’m grateful. For all the “traded back rubs”, all the “your weeks” of cleaning the bathroom, all the emails you write to encourage me. You could do any of it without those stellar dedos! (that’s spanish for fingers, not a nickname for what you think they look like!) It’s good to have free time to read your thoughts again. Love to you
I have time to visit my friend’s blogs! Today…put it down in history…the internet finally arrived at my house! Now, about your fingers. I guess I never knew they were bothersome to you. I just wanted you to know that your fingers have served me in many ways, and for this I’m grateful. For all the “traded back rubs”, all the “your weeks” of cleaning the bathroom, all the emails you write to encourage me. You couldn’t do any of it without those stellar dedos! (that’s spanish for fingers, not a nickname for what you think they look like!) It’s good to have free time to read your thoughts again. Love to you
Jen! What a passionate writer you have become (always been?) as a mom. You seem to be putting words to my heart as I am experiencing so many of these lessons myself lately. The funny thing is that I love Julia’s cute little bunny legs (small calves even) despite the fact that I’ve always wished for some longer, more “calvier” ones on my own figure. She also has my hands. It seems our little girls are receiving similar blends: Daddy’s eyes-Mama’s hands…both look like little men… haha j/k
It is really great soaking up this huge blessing of motherhood together. California or Paris, God is good! I feel closer to you knowing we share some of these joys at the same time.
Love you! Katie