My ish
Old ladies and Instagram Pics
Something weird has happened to me since moving to Southern California. I’ve recently discovered a lot of beautiful pictures and lives on Instagram from fellow OC moms. Perfect looking lives. Perfect looking people. Perfectly dressed. Perfect messy hair. Perfect kitchen and meals and plates and walls and pets and lives. I found a couple Instagram peeps that I thought would “encourage” me to be a better housekeeper or homemaker or homeschooler. I started following some of these beautiful perfect people. I started to feel ugly. I started to feel self conscious of my home. I started to think that my homeschooling was never enough. I started wishing I dressed differently. I started thinking that my life was no longer adventurous. I started thinking that I wasn’t taking enough risks. I started feeling that I wasn’t enough. I stopped in Target today to get a free ‘trenta’ ice water (I’m addicted…
Read MoreI asked for adventure and I got it.
In my last blog post I posted a few phrases that I didn’t realize would challenge me the VERY next day! These are my own quotes: “Isn’t there something so fulfilling about just LIVING LIFE and doing something crazy?” “Why do we take the easy route in life so often?” “Isn’t there adventure to be had?” “Why do we become complacent in our marriages or relationships or personal lives?” Little did I know that the very next day I would be challenged to these quotes. Do I really believe what I wrote, or was it just a moment of inspiration, something to never be lived out? Let me tell you what happened the next day. I got an email from a friend saying that there was a company called Transavia looking for blond children 4-6 and males and females 25-30 who were also blond to do some sort of advertisement…
Read Moredouble standard
Do you ever have one of those days where you realize how crap of a parent you really are? Today I totally had one of those moments. I was getting so tired of Maisie complaining about something, so I continued to give her a little speech about how EASY she has it compared to other children around the world. I told her about the children in Somalia who were starving and had no water or food and I told her about other children who are forced to work. Then about an hour later, I complained to a friend and Justin that, “Justin didn’t buy water and there is no way I am going to drink the tap water…. because I don’t want to throw up.” In reality, the water is gross and probably not the healthiest water that ever was, but it is water! Can we say DRAMA? My friend…
Read MoreHello, My Name is Jen and I am a People Pleaser
I have always been a people pleaser. I have always wanted people to like me. I have this deep unhealthy need to be liked by all. I’ve always admired the people that don’t care what other people think and let them know just that. My daughter is really giving me a run for my money with this issue. It kills me when she doesn’t respond to someone when they say hello. Or what about when she doesn’t like a certain kid?!? She must like everyone, right??? This might be the American in me (and I think it is a bit), but I feel like she must be kind to all, friends with all, and do her best not leave anyone out. Yesterday her school had a little festival and a friend from her class last year showed up. Maisie instantly ignored her current friends to play with this little girl.…
Read MoreLong Time No Write
Congratulations to me. I’ve made it! It has now been a bit over one year since we moved to Barcelona. Hardest year in my life by far. Thank God it is done with! When I think of the first year in Barcelona, these are the first things that come to mind. 1. Crying baby who had a horrible oozing rash. 2. Cold, dark, empty apartment. 3. Fights with Justin. 4. Maisie trying to find her way and her place. 5. Loneliness We went back to the states for a month to BREATHE. Although it was extremely busy with one of my best friend’s wedding, we did have a few moments to just be and relax. Not much, but it did happen. We also were able to figure out what was wrong with my poor little Cutler’s skin. I know in my previous post I had said his rash was gone,…
Read MoreHole in My Heart
There is something missing in my life and there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about it. I am not used to being so helpless. But here I am, more helpless than I’d care to ever be. Stuck. Can’t get out. I’m a fixer and I can’t fix this. I have a hole in my heart and the shape of that hole looks something like this picture: I miss my sister. I want her here or I want to be there. Can’t go there and can’t bring her here. I feel this loss every day and feel like it needs to change. Like it HAS to change. But it can’t and I see no hope. And for me, that just feels terrible. Probably one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced. I want this hole in my heart to be filled.
Read MoreBig Mama
Why did Justin have to get out the other scale? Weren’t we doing just fine with the one that has you losing one pound more and not measuring body fat percentage? Why did I think it was a good idea to get a scale that measures body fat percentage in the first place? And how is the percentage that it keeps showing me even possible!? Tell me how!! I remember a long time back in high school when I had some sort of exercise class (that I always pretended to be sick in or skipped so as not to have to move any more than I absolutely had to). In this class we talked about a healthy body fat percentage for women/girls. Let’s just say “big mama” (as I will refer to myself) did not fit in the category. I have never been obese or even overweight considering my height,…
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