Hole in My Heart

There is something missing in my life and there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about it. I am not used to being so helpless. But here I am, more helpless than I’d care to ever be. Stuck. Can’t get out. I’m a fixer and I can’t fix this. I have a hole in my heart and the shape of that hole looks something like this picture:


I miss my sister. I want her here or I want to be there. Can’t go there and can’t bring her here. I feel this loss every day and feel like it needs to change. Like it HAS to change. But it can’t and I see no hope. And for me, that just feels terrible. Probably one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced. I want this hole in my heart to be filled.


  1. Mike on April 27, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    I totally know the feeling… my parents and Sister and Nieces are all in Michigan…. I totally miss them esp lately form some reason. I currently cant listen to Country music because it makes me tear up.

  2. Amy Biemeck on April 27, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    This made me sad!! My sister is in a different country too! I feel your pain, plus I miss YOUR sister too!! 🙁 Yay for Skype, but it’s just not close enough huh?

  3. Jocelyn on April 27, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Oh Jen, sniff sniff, my heart hurts for you two. Praying God will work a miracle, He knows our needs better than we do. Love you friend!

  4. Jen Braun on April 27, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    Jen. This makes me so sad for you. I somewhat know how you are feeling. It’s hard being away from family especially when your sister is your BFF. I am so praying for a good girlfriend in BCN for you (not a replacement)just to help with the hole. I’m so sorry! xoxoxo

  5. Mom on April 28, 2010 at 7:03 am

    Jen…there’s alot i want to say but not sure I can say it all here (or even should). I don’t know why God allows us to have those holes especially when they seem so vacant and bottomless. He’s given you such a gift in your relationship with Amy. I will be more faithful in prayer that you WILL be filled. I love you.

  6. Julie (smith) Feliccia on April 28, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    Jen, I am sorry you feel such a sense of loss and emptiness. I just finished telling the girls in my office how close I am with my sister and how much I love raising our kids together. I 100% understand how much you love your sister. My best friend is also a missionary and we have had many conversations about this same topic. Sometimes I wonder if God leaves an empty space in us because he wants us to have him fill it. He wants our entire hearts and our dependence on him. With Hannah God has allowed her to have some incredibly special times with her siblings that she would not have had if they had lived closer. The conversations went to a new depth when they were togther because they wanted to make the most of their time. I wonder what God wants to do with the emptiness you feel in your heart? I will pray that he will show you and that the pain will begin to not be so strong. I am sorry for your loneliness. Julie

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