Why me? God keeps me humble. I will admit that sometimes I think I am pretty darn cute. Yes, I will even go as far to say that sometimes I think I am pretty much a hottie. Since moving to Paris I think God is playing tricks on me. See the picture if you don’t know what I am talking about. If it isn’t feeling fat, it is breaking out in zits! If it isn’t the zits, it is a crazy itchy rash all over my face that looks like little white heads (yuck, I know). If it isn’t the little gross white heads, then it is an ugly boy haircut that won’t even cover up the rash! If it isn’t the ugly boy haircut, than it is this new fun thing called ECZEMA! NO!!!! I never thought that I would have this nasty skin disorder, but it is true! I HAVE IT! I don’t know what Paris pollution or crazy hard water is doing to me, but I am not liking it!
And where do I have ezcema? Oh, on my EYES!!! Just the place. Also on my elbow pits, but who cares about the part on your body nobody sees (at least it is winter and the elbow pits are covered). Oh my eyes burn and itch like there is no tomorrow!
One day my eyes swelled so bad (almost swollen shut and swollen one and a half inches BELOW my eyes) that I had to go to the doctor. Of course I couldn’t go to a doctor here because it wasn’t an "emergency". I had to wait like four days and by that time the swelling had gone down. They were looking like they do in this picture by that time. I wish Justin would have taken a picture when they were full blown crazy eyes!
I have learned something through all this though. God is keeping me humble. I am glad too. I mean, I would rather not have to endure itching and burning eyes, but I am thankful that at least I can learn something through this. Not like I am a snob. We all know I struggle with self esteem issues! It is just cool that I can’t even "go there" to try to find my identity in my looks. I am still the same Jen with red nasty eyes that I am with zits, or gross rash, or when everything is actually functioning normal. My identity is only found in Christ. Who am I really? My looks definitely DO NOT define who I am. Thank goodness because that is just way too much pressure! I can be thankful with my skin "ish" because my skin "ish" is not who I am! I am Jen, who happens to be married, live in Paris, have skin issues sometimes etc etc. Where do we find our identity? I keep looking in the wrong places, but am thankful for these not so friendly reminders that steer me back to truth.