Bad Dreams and Pregnancy and Burritos.. OH MY!

I had a rough day today.  It was just one of those days where you question why you are doing what you are doing, why you are living where you are living, etc. etc.  It all started in the wee hours of the morning when I was still sleeping.  In my first dream, Justin asked another girl (he met in a hot tub) if she would marry him.  I woke up to wake him up and tell him I did not appreciate that.  I was mad at him for real, even after waking up.  I went back to sleep to next dream that my teeth had rotted and were falling out.  It was so stressful to figure out what dentist I would go to and also deal with the fact that I may have false teeth at the age of 27. 

I am an angry waker.  I next woke up to Justin staring at me.  I know this is sweet and all and he did explain, "you are just so beautiful when you sleep," but it is just not fun to be stared at in such a vulnerable state.  Am I wrong?   I covered the blankets over me and turned over.  He continued to be sweet and after getting out of the shower, he sat next to me and scratched my back.  He then asked me if I would come sit by him as he eats his yogurt.  So, I wrapped my blanket around me and sat with him.  Out of nowhere, I started crying. 

I think I am scared.  Yep.  Definitely scared.  I am just a little over eight weeks pregnant and crazy thoughts are running through my mind!  Being so far from family and friends during such a HUGE time in my life is a little scary for me.  Not to mention that I feel like a completely different person.  I have been nauseated and exhausted and pretty much completely out of it.  So, I sit in the leather chair in our living room for about 12 hours a day, trying not to feel so sick. 

Tonight as I was writing with my sister on instant messenger, she was eating a fudgesicle.  I want a fudgesicle.  But they don’t have them in France.  Then I thought of Taco Bell and Del Taco bean burritos.  I literally got choked up and almost burst into tears thinking about how I so desperately wanted a bean burrito.  They don’t sell re-fried beans here and it is rare to find tortillas.  No fast food Mexican restaurants, let alone any type of Mexican restaurant.   Thank goodness, we had ONE can of Taco Bell re-fried beans left that my sister, Amy, had sent over in a care package!  Justin realized my tears were about to spill over and offered to make me bean burritos!  We even had a few Taco Bell hot sauce packets that had also been sent to us!  It was a dream come true.  I mean, not really because my teeth didn’t fall out.  But it was a good dream.  It was the best way to end a really hard day.   I am so blessed to have Justin.  He has been amazing!  He is now doing almost all of the cooking and cleaning!  I love him.  I love his burritos that are made with love for me and for the little baby growing inside me!


  1. relevantgirl on April 12, 2006 at 11:14 pm

    Oh cute Jen!

    I wish I were there so I could give you a big hug and tell you everything will be okay.

    Totally normal: weird dreams, fears, burrito cravings.

    Hang in there, and know that your little friend near Nice is cheering you on.

  2. Mom on April 13, 2006 at 6:28 am

    Oh Jen…wish I could slip over there and have you cuddle up with me, and we’d pray together and I’d buy you all the bean burritos (no onions, no sauce and packets of hot sauce) you wanted…I praise God for Justin, who loves and adores you awake, asleep, irritable and pregnant. You’re in my heart little girl. I love you.

  3. Bandna on April 13, 2006 at 8:56 pm

    That is so funny but not really about all your dreams but just looking back at the day seems like we would have laughed at it..I wish I coukd be there for you Jen so that we could watch project runway together and eat chocolate….I love you I am praying for baby!!!

  4. Sis on April 13, 2006 at 11:00 pm

    You made me cry…thanks a lot. Miss you.

  5. Ann on April 15, 2006 at 10:52 pm

    What a precious entry. I can’t wait to come and see you and experience your world there in Paris. Should I bring some canned Mexican food? Love to all three of you. God is good. We are going to have a blast in Rome.

  6. Sandra on April 19, 2006 at 9:51 pm

    Hey Jen!

    I just wanted to say hello, cause I’m moving to Paris, hopefully in January to be a part of starting churches too! With World Team. I love reading about your life –I’ll be in the same boat in a short time.

    I will definitely stop by your blog and keep up to date.


Leave a Comment