Out of the Funk and into Freedom
Funk. It is weird when you are in a total and complete funk and don’t even realize it. I think I have been in a funk for the last year. Seriously. A WHOLE YEAR! Maybe I am still in it and just don’t realize it yet. But I do feel like I am happy again.
I was talking with my friend Danielle the other day and said, "I finally feel back to normal." Her response was something like, "Jen, I have heard you say that so many times." WHAT?!?! It is true. I just feel like this year has been so up and down. A lot of down, but definitely some ups. Last summer was way up, well until the bad haircut experience.
I am so thankful for grace. I know I am sounding like Justin now, but seriously, I have been given so much grace this year. Grace by my friends when I don’t call them back because I am depressed and want to sit on my computer and play card games instead, grace from my team when I get bitter and angry at them and become divisive and judgmental, grace from Justin when I bite his head off for something so silly, and oh the list goes on!
I am not always given this grace that is so freeing. It is hard and hurtful when someone is unwilling to give grace and uses judgment instead. It is almost like I feel like I deserve grace. But isn’t grace something that is undeserved? Although I have found freedom and joy in giving (and receiving) grace, I have also found that it can’t be forced. I so want people to give me grace, yet I am quick to withhold it and use judgment instead. Recently I have learned a beautiful lesson when grace has been withheld, and that is to give and to pray to give grace to other people, even the ones that hurt you. A bonus in this, is that it takes the power of that hurt away. And once again, with or without grace being given from another person, you are free!
Now I just hope I will be free from the funk. NO MORE FUNK!
Jen…we all deserve grace only because that is what God so freely gives us. He sees our weaknesses and still pours out His grace on us! Amazing! I guess even though it may not show on the outside, or we may be misjudged based on another person’s perception of us, God looks deep into our hearts and fills us to overflowing as we submit to Him, love Him passionately, and cast off that which hinders us from a deeper more purposeful walk with Him. I love how God is moving in yours and Justin’s life! He has hunkered you down in an unfamiliar environment, given you a bit of familiarity (only a bit) to allow you a little comfort, and has poured His grace full to overflowing as you share your love for Him with the French… pretty cool!!!
Jen of all Jens,
You have WON!
You are my BLOG QUOTE OF NOTE this week. Stop on over to http://www.relevantblog.blogspot.com and see your words “in print” on the right hand side.
I feel ya’ there girlfriend. I’ve definitely had that year. It’ll be interesting to see what God does with all MY ish. 😉