A Few Confessions of A Sometimes Bad Mom

Maisie lives for danger.  Or maybe I enter her into danger.  A couple days ago she was being a little terror, so I let her have my paper shopping bag to play with.  I realize that she loves to eat paper, but I thought I was watching her.  Not well enough obviously because when I next looked over, she had taken little goober bites out of my shopping bag, with the pieces nowhere to be found.  I wonder if this is part of the reason she has been constipated.  Here is the damage…to the bag.

Have I mentioned at all how many times I have dropped my cell phone on her little newborn face?  It is true.  I am not proud of it and just because I am posting that information here does not mean it is something I am bragging about.  I am quite shocked at myself actually.  It was in the wee hours of the night when I was nursing her and trying to see what time it was and on my way to bring the phone to my face, it slipped out of my hand and onto her face.  Never once did she cry.  Maybe she just thought it was part of life…to have little bright things fall on your face. 

When we went to Prague this last May Justin, Maisie, and I were shopping around in a little store.  This store, like most other European stores, was very small, packed with lots of things.  I saw a cute little jacket that I wanted a better look at, so I thought I would fit into the corner it was hiding in, while holding Maisie.  Well, my clumsiness got the better of me and I ran into the corner of the wall, ricocheting off of it to have Maisie’s temple hit the corner of the opposite shelf.  High pitch screams for minutes.  I felt horrible.  That was the worst. 

I let Maisie play with pens.  It kills most of my friends that I let her do this, but I waited until she had more control of her arm movements, so as not to poke out an eye.  She has yet to hurt herself, although now that I am posting this I will probably keep a closer eye on her so you don’t have to say, “I told you so.” 

She wants to know what it feels like to get a bit electrocuted because she insists on trying to eat every cord in the house.  I think cords are the only reason she has even attempted to crawl.  She loves them.  This, we do not let her play with.  Well actually, right now she is playing with some guitar cord, but I promise it isn’t dangerous.

While in Amsterdam I let her play with a hanger.  It is always when she is being a poop that I give in and she ends up getting hurt.  My judgment really goes out the window when I am flustered.  I was shopping and Maisie was freaking, so I let her play with a hanger.  I thought better of it and took it away from her before she would get hurt.  She was still crying, so I picked her up, while holding my clothes…on hangers.  Somehow, one of them managed to fish hook her little mouth and get stuck in there.  More high pitch screaming.

That is a whole lot of bad and irresponsible parenting in just eight months!  Please stay tuned for future irresponsible parenting tales!  They are sure to come!


  1. Donna on August 7, 2007 at 6:01 pm

    I love irresponsible parenting. It makes me realize just how normal I am. I am with ya on the being flustered thing. I too tend to relax a bit on the “rules” when I am feeling frustrated or anxious. It sounds like you are a great mom. Don’t let what “they” all think get to you. Just do what you know and can see is safe and ok. And,,,,,,, post a pic of the Eiffel Tower soon. 🙂

  2. Mom on August 7, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    Oh my gosh! I laughed outloud at work while I was reading this! Now that may not seem like a very grandmotherly thing to do, but Jen, you are SUCH a humorous writer! The visual of Maisie being adjusted to a hard object with a bright light hitting her while being fed was so funny….and the pen thing….well, I have to admit that I’ve struggled against saying anything about that one, but now that you brought it up….you didn’t mention the marks a child makes on furniture when a parent allows them to hold/play with a pen. Keep these posts coming honey. We can all identify! Love you!

  3. Bandna on August 8, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    I was laughing so hard when I read this Jen… I could totally picture all of it in my mind. Haha!

  4. Bri on August 8, 2007 at 9:29 pm

    You are seriously cracking me up. I love how authentic and honest you are. It makes you so loveable and endearing. Hope all’s well girl!

  5. Michael on August 10, 2007 at 12:34 am

    HOLY CRAP…i just had the big D laughing over this one. You are one of the best writers I have ever read! Seriously funny stuff…keep up the blogs and soon you’ll have a book 🙂

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