OH YES! There are rules! I’ve been thinking a lot about pregnancy lately. Partly because I can’t wait to settle down somewhere and get pregnant again and partly because I have a lot of friends who have just either had a baby or are pregnant right now. It got me to thinking of all the crazy, ridiculous, rude, and inappropriate things that have been said to me during and right after pregnancy. So now that I am not boiling with anger or shame or insecurity anymore, I thought it would be fun to share them!
I have to warn some of you though, you may be reading words that came from your lips. I am not trying to be passive aggressive in confronting you as many people say weird things to pregnant women. I just thought there should be a little lesson from one who has experienced some funny comments.
Things not to say to Jen (or any other woman for that matter) when she is pregnant or just had a baby:
Starting from the first comment I can remember to the last….
1. “Looks like you need to lay off the donuts!!!” (then that person continues to laugh as I run to the back room to cry). haha, I am laughing about now, but at the time, horror, especially as I was just starting to show.
2. “You are sure carrying wide.” (NEVER SAY THAT!!!!)
3. “I’ve never noticed those love handles before. Look at how it is hanging over your jeans.”
4. “I only gained (BLANK) amount of weight.” Just don’t say it, especially if it is a low number. Us pregnant women only want to hear about the women that got as fat as we did.
This next comment wasn’t rude, but it made me realize I had gained TOO MUCH weight.
5. Said by another pregnant woman in France, “My doctor said that if you gained weight in your arms, you have gained too much.” OOPS!!! haha!!
And then the glorious comments after Maisie was born:
1. “I didn’t know you would still look pregnant.”
2. “You are like a fat version of Jen.”
3. “Now you have the body of a Dutch woman.”
If you would like to make conversation with a pregnant woman and feel the need to talk about her appearance, here are some acceptable things to say:
1. “You look beautiful!”
2. “Your skin looks great!”
3. “Wow, your hair is getting so full and is so shiny!”
You get the point. NO comments on weight gain, wherever that may be. NEVER say someone has gained weight in their face or their butt or their arms or their hips or love handles or anywhere, except maybe the belly and ONLY after the first trimester, otherwise, you are just commenting on their fat. 🙂
Aughhh, it feels good to get that off my chest. So now we all know that when I get pregnant, I don’t want to hear anything about where I have gained weight or what I should or shouldn’t be eating. Can I get an “Amen” out there??? 🙂 Feel free to share some of your comments if you also need to get those off your chest!!