It’s sort of sad when you travel and move around so often, that you just keep your child’s toys in a suitcase. Really, there was nowhere else to put it. I guess we could have bought some sort of toy bin or basket, but we would just be packing it up to move again at some point in the near future. The time has come where we are packing up again and let me tell you, it plain sucks. I hate it. I despise it. Not because I hate packing or organizing or whatever, but because I hate what it does to Maisie. It is so hard for her to see her toys be zipped up, not to be seen for who knows how long. This may sound ridiculous to some of you as I get that there are kids who don’t even have toys, or kids who don’t have parents that love them, or who maybe don’t even have family at all.
These thoughts make me feel silly for even being sad for her. But I do see what it does to her. She gets a bit anxious and cries over things she wouldn’t normally cry over. Or throw little tantrums over things she doesn’t normally throw tantrums over (well, she normally doesn’t throw tantrums at all). I don’t think she is upset that she can’t play with the ugly green Teletubby that the lady at the thrift store gave her, or even some of her favorite huge board books that are just too heavy to take with us. I think it is something deeper. I think she senses that there is going to be more adjustment in the near future. More unknown and that can be scary.
Maybe I am just projecting my feelings onto Maisie. Maybe I am the one that is feeling sadness packing up again. Maybe I am the one feeling anxiety as we head into more transition and unknown.
While I am probably feeling this anxiety and sadness now, I am also looking forward to the fact that us being in transition now, means we will be settling even sooner (or at least I hope)!
So little Maisers will be just fine! She is a strong girl and I know God is taking care of her during all this! And also taking care of me! Just thought I would share what’s going on in my head right now!